If you're still in love with your ex and tried to fix your relationship,
seeing her run off and date someone else can really sting. If you still want
her back you must first get past the fact that she's with another guy, and then
move toward creating a scenario in which your ex will want you again. These two
things take time and effort, and unfortunately it's not going to happen
overnight. But if you're dedicated to one day dating your ex-girlfriend again?
The following guidelines will help you get started.
Accept Her New Relationship - Nothing and I mean absolutely nothing you can say
right now is going to change your ex-girlfriend's mind about her new man. She's
going to date him despite your best efforts to tell her not to. Even worse,
every word you say trying to convince her otherwise is going to drive the wedge
between the two of you deeper and deeper. This will make things harder later
on, when you're trying to win back your girlfriend. By accepting the fact that
she's moved on, you're letting her know that you're not going to interfere with
her life. This will eventually allow her to trust you again: an important part
of getting back together.
Understand That She's Rebounding - If your ex starts dating another guy within a few
weeks after you've broken up, chances are she's involved in a rebound
relationship. This is actually good. It means that she's never really had the
time alone to resolve your own relationship in her head, so feelings for you
are probably still rattling around in there. During the initial phases of her
new romance (the honeymoon stage) she honestly won't think of you much. But as
time goes on, your ex will miss you again - especially if you follow the next
rule and disappear for a while.
Drop Out of Your Ex-Girlfriend's Sight - During the beginning stages of her
new relationship, there's nothing for you to do but wait. Instead of sitting
around in plain sight or desperately clinging to your ex-girlfriend "as a
friend", the best thing to do is completely vanish from her view. Don't
lock the door to your house and feel sorry for yourself; go out and see
friends, pick up old hobbies, hit the gym, and do things to get your mind off
the situation. Just be sure to turn off your phone, disconnect from the
internet, and don't answer any of your ex-girlfriend's calls, emails, or
text-messages. And if she doesn't call? That's normal too. Because right now
she's involved with a new guy and although she's preoccupied it's very possible
that her rebound relationship won't last. When that happens, she'll be looking
around for you. Being scarce will help your cause when you finally do
reconnect.
Befriend Your Ex - Eventually, enough time will pass that your ex will
seek you out. If not, there are also ways of reestablishing a connection with
her without her realizing that you did it. When you do talk again, it may be
through email or text message (to avoid her new boyfriend finding out). That's
okay, keep things cool and casual. Making your ex comfortable right now will go
miles and miles toward getting her back into your inner circle. Getting close
to your ex again is required if you're going to get her back.
Build Neutral Trust With Her - The conversations you have with your ex-girlfriend
will begin as innocent small talk, but will eventually progress into each of
you talking about your lives in more detail. She'll mention her new boyfriend
and you'll need to do one thing: never, ever say anything bad about him. Do
that just once and your ex might never talk about her life again, which isn't
what you want. If she wants to praise him? Let her. If she wants to bitch about
her ex? Let her do that too. Don't agree with her, just be there as a neutral
forum for her to bounce her thoughts off of. Over time, you'll start to see cracks
in her armor... holes in her new relationship. Knowing what these are will help
you later on, when you're meeting up with your ex to talk about things.
Search The Past For That Original Spark - What's the biggest advantage you
have in trying to win back your ex-girlfriend? Your past history together.
Somewhere back there are some very bright sparks that once ignited the
relationship you once had. Search through the ruins of your broken romance and
find them. Then, as casually as possible, begin planting these sparks as seeds
back into the soil of this new friendship you've developed with your ex. Don't
go overboard, and don't go too fast. Be very conscious of how she reacts to you
talking about old times. However, if you can hit on the right moments? She's
going to think long and hard about those great times together. Way after she
hangs up with you, she'll start thinking back to all the incredible experiences
the two of you shared - and these are things she can continue to share with
only one person - you.
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