Changes

Sometimes we hold on to things, because we desire for it so much, when we should have let go a long time ago. You do not hold the key to change another person’s perception of you. All the good you do, all you give, and all you say can never truly change how they see you, treat you, or use you. You will find yourself changing yourself, hiding when you’ve done nothing wrong, scrambling to be what you think is perfect in their minds when, the truth is you have no power in the situation. You cannot change others’ minds unless they want their minds to be changed.

Some people chooses other people because they believe they are more alike than others, same characteristics, same ways, whatever.  What happens when one chooses to change, now the dynamics of the relationship changes. You are no longer the same in ways, which that person embodied you to be. Now the changer wants the unchanged changed!

For instance, you’re a cheater and the other person you get with is a cheater. Over time, you both promise to stop cheating. You stopped, but your partner couldn’t. Now you are ridiculing your significant other because they’re still cheating… or even better you’re both crack heads and you both decided to kick the habit. You did it, but your partner keeps relapsing… now you are calling them a crack head and pointing a finger… who’s wrong?

It is so much easier to see the faults in others and point the finger, because you know you’ve done no wrong, but what if your wrong is not admitting it was time to go when you realized that the changes you promised to changed was changed and the other person’s was not. What if you are wrong waiting for that person to change, but in the process you spotlight them and their issues to the point they are constantly under surveillance?  What if it has gotten so out of hand, the other person is no longer focused on their change, but is now convinced that you must be hiding something to be so determined and your point is lost in the mist of it all?

We can all be bitter for the turn out in a nasty or undesired break up, but what was your role… it’s not always what you have done wrong… sometimes it’s what  you haven’t done.