1. HE
WANTS A GIRL WHO CAN TURN HERSELF ON
Women,
as you know, need time to get revved up. Although your man may be more than
willing to pull out all the stops to get you hot, he wouldn't mind if you gave
yourself a running start. "A number of women still believe that it's
solely a man's job to arouse them," says Georgia sex therapist Gloria
Brame, PhD. "To have a really fulfilling sexual experience though, you
have to put some effort into getting yourself into a sexual state of
mind."
To
give your libido a boost, draw on the same sources of inspiration you use
during solo self-pleasuring missions. Once his seduction scheme begins, close
your eyes and fantasize about a hot encounter you had with your man...or even
some other dude. "It's totally okay to think about another sexual partner
when you're trying to turn yourself on," reassures Brame. "You just
might not want to tell your boyfriend about it."
2. HE
WANTS SEX TO BE FUN
Unfortunately,
real-life romps aren't as seamless as they are in the movies. "Things
don't always go smoothly during sex — some positions don't work, and odd noises
happen," says Gardos. "If you get hung up on a mishap, it will ruin
the mood. But if you can both laugh, it becomes a light bonding moment."
Chas,*
28, agrees. "One night I tried a new move that wasn't executed properly,
and my girl hit her head on the nightstand! She didn't hurt herself, so we
could joke about it, and then we got back to what we were doing."
Frisky
fun is about more than damage control though. Make a silly bet to be paid off
in sexual favors or play a board game naked in bed and agree that the loser has
to grant the winner one lusty request.
3. HE
WANTS YOU TO DROP HINTS
When
it comes to pleasing the women in their lives, every man wishes he had ESP
(extrasexual perception). But the truth is, your libidinous longings can be
baffling. "That's why a guy loves it when you're able to guide him without
barking out orders," says Gardos.
So
when giving erotic instruction, throw in some positive reinforcement.
"Tell him how good it feels when he does something right, or remind him of
a technique that always gets you off," suggests Brame. "If he's not
giving you enough foreplay, ask him to use his hand or mouth to warm you up,
saying that you want to draw out the experience."
4. HE
WANTS TO WATCH
For
men, what they see is almost as good as what they get, so make sure to give him
an eyeful. "One time during sex, my girlfriend led me over to a mirror so
we could see ourselves in action," remembers Tyler, 21. "I found it
really sexy, but what made it hotter was how into it she was."
Another
way to turn him on with sight: Keep some clothes on. Sometimes men prefer when
you leave a little to the imagination. "Sexy lingerie can be as arousing —
or more so — as being nude, because it builds anticipation," says Bob
Berkowitz, PhD, coauthor of When Men Stop Having Sex.
More
great views: you in girl-on-top position or, if you're feeling brave, touching
yourself in front of him.
5. HE
WANTS YOU TO BE NAUGHTY
Even
if you're a bad girl at heart, you might hold back with your guy. "Women
are often afraid to get naughty in a relationship, because they don't want to
shatter any 'good girlfriend' image he has or they don't want him to think
they're weird," explains Brame. "But men want to see that
no-holds-barred side of you — they just don't want to offend you by asking for
it."
What
dirty-girl tricks fit the bill? Pretty much anything that shows him how much
you like sex and how much you want it with him, says Gardos. To let him know
you're into him, grab his butt hard when he's climaxing or gently nip his
shoulder.
You
may also want to do something unexpected, like initiating a new position or
trying a passion prop. "My girlfriend and I were out shopping when she
suggested we check out this sex-toy shop," Nick, 27, says. "We ended up
buying this thing called a penis sleeve, which is basically a thick, bumpy
condom. Not only was it fun to use, but I loved how eager she was to try
it."
6. HE
WANTS A "WOW, WHAT WAS THAT?" EXPERIENCE
To
separate yourself from the pack, you'll need to pull a move so wild, he won't
be able to stop thinking about it the next day. "If you've mastered one
particular technique that's really hot and different, the entire erotic
experience will stand out in his mind," explains psychologist Joel Block,
PhD, author of The Art of the Quickie.
Now,
you don't have to bust out a complicated trick best used by yoga instructors —
just tweak an old standby, say, switching between oral sex and
intercourse...with him blindfolded.
You
may also want to come up with your own signature mouth move. "When my
ex-girlfriend would go down on me, she took her time exploring the whole area
with her tongue," remembers Peter, 32. "And she did cool stuff with
it, like alternating between using the flat part and then covering the same
territory with just the tip. It was an entirely different sensation!"
7. HE
WANTS TO MIX THINGS UP
Repetition
can make once-hot sack sessions seem ho-hum. So be open to varying things in
bed. Any change in speed, pressure, or position will make the act more interesting
and pleasurable. "Variety keeps him in a heightened state of arousal
because he never knows what to expect," says Block.
During
foreplay, wrap your fist around his member (with lube!), moving it up and down
with long, smooth strokes. Then add your other hand, and gently twist both
hands in opposing directions. When you get to intercourse, start off slowly in
missionary. Next, rest your feet on his shoulders for deeper thrusting.
Finally, roll over, and let him enter you from behind.
8. HE
WANTS NOOKY OUT OF NOWHERE
"You'll
win big sexual points with your guy if you spring sex on him out of the
blue," says Gardos. "It gives him a huge ego boost by reinforcing the
fact that you're really hot for him."
For a
spontaneous seduction, ask him to pull over to a deserted spot for a roadside
romp when you're driving home one night. Or at a party, take him into a back
bedroom or closet. Joe, 23, remembers a naughty surprise attack at a black-tie
affair. "My date and I were sitting down at dinner, and she slid her hand
under the table and began to pleasure me — right in the middle of the meal! It
was so spontaneous and unexpected. I could barely sit still," he recalls.
9. HE
WANTS TO TAKE YOU
The
best way to bring out the sexy beast in your guy? Initiate some
take-me-I'm-yours action. "He'd love to be raw and animalistic with you,
but he needs to know you want it too," says Brame. "Kiss him
seductively and then pull away, saying that if he wants more, he can come and
get it." During the act, you can also tell him "harder" or
"faster" if you feel like he's handling you with kid gloves.
Dave,
24, was totally psyched when a woman asked to be ravaged. "An
ex-girlfriend lay down on the bed and begged me to rip off her clothes, which I
did. The sex was great, but letting me tear her shirt in half was the best part
because it was passionate and intense."
10. HE
WANTS TO DO NOTHING SOMETIMES
On the
flip side, occasionally men prefer it when you take over. Lying back while a
chick has her way with him is an ultimate guy fantasy.
Just
ask Brian, 26: "I was dating a woman who was sort of a bookworm. But when
I got her into bed for the first time, she was wild. Before I could even try to
take off her clothes, she threw me back on the bed and blindfolded me with her
bra," he remembers. "Then she gave me the best oral sex ever. I
didn't have to lift a finger."
For a
softer approach, Brame suggests treating your man to allover titillation: Have
him lie on the bed naked. Then, starting at one foot, kiss and lick your way up
his leg and along the crease where his thigh meets his torso. Next, move to his
side, up to his neck, and down to his main event. When you're ready for
intercourse, treat him to reverse-cowgirl so he can't help you, even if he
wants to. Trust us: The payback will be awesome.
